“Now is the winter of our discontent, Made glorious by the sun of York.” William Shakespeare, Richard III, act 1, sc 1, l 1
“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” Jesus (John 3:8)
This is the stirring of the soul. You long to breathe deeply, filing your lungs and stretching your wings to fly. You need more…more of what? You try this or that, one thing or another, and once again the sound of profound, empty silence. Your unidentified deeper desire remains.
I was in the social health insurance office yesterday morning, because I’d finally summoned my courage to take that stack of paperwork and cry for help. I was hoping that we were due for
some reimbursements, but would it be worth my time, and the embarrassment of my inadequate French communication skills?
It was so easily resolved! And the clerk was so friendly and helpful. Something amazing happens when you admit your defeat and beg for mercy. More often than not, it’s granted, although sometimes you’ll have to choke down your pride…. So, while I was in the cubicle, patiently waiting for my savior to pull up the coordinates from his computer, I had a look at the bold, bright colors of the artists’ reproductions on the walls. Obviously discarded calendars, one year paid tribute to Chagall, another year for Picasso and several years of assorted flower and animal themes.
There was one masterpiece that kept calling me back for another look. It was a ballpoint pen drawing on yellow cartridge paper. There were two couples holding hands; large round, eager eyes, big smiles, flamboyantly decorative hair and outfits. The grass was wild and filled with flowers; the sun was heart-shaped and beamed over the scene. This was obviously drawn by a sure and confident 6-year old hand; of one know knows what makes life living.
What did you want to be when you grew up? What was your earliest ambition? Have you achieved it, and in the way you’d expected? Is it even possible or realistic for your dreams to come true?
There is a memory of a perfect world deep within each of us that whispers through our daily distractions and into our hearts. We have our expectations of what life is supposed to be, and our typical reactions to what life does to us. Are you aware of your expectations, and do they resemble your reality?
When was the last time you knew real joy?
What do you do with the heartbreak? Where do you go with your disappointment? Who understands what you’re going through? Are you surviving or thriving?
Spend some time wrestling with your discontent. Is there anything you can do with your dissatisfaction that doesn’t make you regret after the action? Does it feel like you’re wandering in the desert? Or as if you’ve been cast under a spell, disoriented, dazed and confused? Describe this dream world.
“Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.” John 3:21
“I came so they might have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
What is the deepest desire of your life? There’s an untapped current of passion that’s waiting to explode into action. What will it take to ignite the flame of your purpose?
The journal is made for conundrums such as these! Scribble words, thoughts, images, anything—communicate to your outside what’s going on inside….