Give philosophical thought a fighting chance

 

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

I'd rather die living than live dying.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Sweat is nature's way of saying your muscles are crying.

 

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison

"Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you." --Joey Adams

Maybe the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence because that is where the leaky septic tank is buried - Anthony L. Ingram

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." -- Jackie Mason

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. --George Carlin

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, without having to accomplish anything. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again? -- Elayne Boosler

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use in being a damn fool about it." --W.C. Fields

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. -- Mark Twain

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. --Phyllis Diller

"I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Benjamin Franklin

"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." -- Steven Wright

"My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he's suing them for wasting seven years of his life." -- Mike Binder

"A day without sunshine is like night"

"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."

"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

"Honk if you love peace and quiet."

"I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges."

"Remember half the people you know are below average."

"The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool."

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

 

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