Monday/Funday and The Importance of Life Choices (more or less)


One day, while his boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: A Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.

"Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be. If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be O.K. too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be."


The old man was anxious as he waited, and soon he heard his son's footsteps as he came into the house whistling on the way to his room. He deposited his books on the bed, as a matter of routine, and as he turned around to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With a curious set in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. What he finally did was to pick up the Bible and placed it under his arm, pick up the silver dollar and drop it into his pocket, uncork the bottle and take a big drink...

"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "He's gonna be a politician."

 

 

The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians:

 

Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: 'It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."

 

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower: "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

 

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheel chairs: "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"

 

A. C. Greene: "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one."

 

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish: "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."

 

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced: "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."

 

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush's policies: "if ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."

 

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing: "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."

 

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis: "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."

 

Don Rottenberg: "There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information."

 

[More funny business here.]

 

Write a comment

Comments: 0

View more gifts at Zazzle.

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required
Email Format
Professional Reader
Reviews Published
Challenge Participant
80%
50 Book Reviews
Postcards Exchange