The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Rules the World


MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHEALANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children?  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get∆ to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.... "Just wait until your father gets home!"

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...."You are going to get it when we get home!"

MY Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you. Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC ... 'If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My mother taught me MEDICINE.... "if you don't stop crossing your eyes, you're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD ... "if you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me about ESP...."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold."

My Mother taught me HUMOR ...."When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about SEX... "How do you think you got here?"

My Mother taught me about GENETICS.... "You're just like your father!"

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite ... JUSTICE.... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you .... then you'll see what it's like."


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