Hanging Around the Pearly Gates

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

 

 

Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

 

 

James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.

 

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James  Monroe, and 66 other people who had the same love for liberty and America.

 

As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

 

As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he  screamed,   "This is not what I was promised!"

 

An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for  you.   What did you think I said?"

 

Castro dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that, no way, no how, does he belong in heaven.  Castro must go to hell. So Castro goes to hell, where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home.

 

Then Castro notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff."

 

When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked—St.Peter is having lunch—and they start debating what to do. Finally, onecomes up with the idea that they should climb over the wall and get theluggage.

 

As they are climbing, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "Would you look at that? Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"

 

 

[More killer jokes here.]

 

Write a comment

Comments: 0

View more gifts at Zazzle.

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required
Email Format
Professional Reader
Reviews Published
Challenge Participant
80%
50 Book Reviews
Postcards Exchange